Japan etiquette: the rules nobody explains
There is a version of Japanese etiquette that everyone already knows: remove your shoes, do not tip, wait your turn. Those things are right, but they are not what causes most problems.
What is harder to get right is what nobody mentions: why the train carriage is silent when yours at home is not, what “don’t eat while walking” actually means in practice, or why nobody says anything when you do something wrong but they notice it anyway. After more than fifteen years living in Japan, these are the rules I see broken most often — the same behaviour covered from the other side in what actually annoys residents about tourists.
On the train
The train is where the greatest concentration of Japan’s unwritten rules applies.
Your phone: it is on silent. Always. On the train, metro and bus. Phone calls are not made on public transport. If you get an urgent call, let it go and call back when you get off. Headphones are used at a volume that cannot be heard from the next seat.
Backpacks: on a crowded train, your backpack comes off your shoulders and goes in front of your feet or in the overhead rack. A backpack on your back takes up someone else’s space without you noticing.
Priority seats (priority seats): in Japan, people do not use these when the carriage is full and there are people who need them. During rush hour, many Japanese people avoid sitting in them entirely.
Eating: on the shinkansen it is accepted. On the Tokyo metro and most urban trains, it is not. There are regional exceptions (Osaka is somewhat more relaxed), but as a general rule, eating on local trains is not done.
The doors: people queue at the sides of the door and let passengers off before boarding. The queue is real: there are painted markings on the platform floor showing where to stand.
On the street
Do not eat while walking. In Japan, eating on the move is considered careless. The convention is to stop, eat and then continue. At festivals or street food areas, there are designated spots to eat standing up. On a regular street, there are not.
The exceptions are ice cream and some festival stall food. But the onigiri from the convenience store gets eaten sitting down.
Escalators: in Tokyo, you stand still on the left and leave the right free for people who want to walk up. In Osaka it is the reverse: stand on the right, walk on the left. There is an official campaign to stop people walking on escalators in Tokyo for safety reasons, but in practice it is not followed.
Smoking: Japan has clearly marked smoking areas, both indoors and outdoors. Smoking on the street outside those areas is prohibited in many municipalities and can result in a fine. In Tokyo, Yokohama and most large cities, you need to find the designated area.
Do not point with your index finger. Pointing at people with a single finger is considered rude. To indicate direction or draw attention to something, use an open hand with the palm facing up.
In restaurants
The damp towel (oshibori) you receive on arrival is for your hands. Not your face, and not for wiping the table.
Calling the server: say sumimasen (すみません) in a clear, natural voice, or press the call button if there is one at the table. Do not wave your hand or snap your fingers.
Chopsticks: do not stand them vertically in a bowl of rice (this is done at funeral rites), do not pass food from chopstick to chopstick (the same gesture is used to pass cremated remains at Japanese funerals), do not point them at anyone.
Tipping does not exist. Leaving money on the table when you leave causes confusion or discomfort. It is not a custom Japan is adopting, and it is not expected in any context.
Rice: in a formal meal or traditional restaurant, the rice bowl is held in your left hand and raised slightly from the table. Eating rice while leaving the bowl on the table and hunching forward is considered careless.
These conventions apply doubly at an izakaya, where drinking makes people relax rules that are better left alone.
At temples and shrines
Temple (寺, tera/ji) and shrine (神社, jinja) are not the same thing. Temples are Buddhist. Shrines are Shinto. The way to pray is different at each.
At a Shinto shrine: wash your hands at the temizuya (the stone water basin) before approaching the altar. In front of the altar, bow twice, clap twice, make your wish, then bow once more. That is the standard procedure.
At a Buddhist temple: wash your hands as well, but do not clap in front of the altar. Press your palms together in silence.
Photography: some parts of temples and shrines cannot be photographed. Signs are usually clear, but it is worth checking before taking out your phone, especially inside the main buildings.
Incense (senko) at temples: if there is an incense burner with lit sticks, the smoke is fanned toward yourself with your hands. It is believed to have healing and purifying properties. It is participation, not curiosity.
Things that are not said but are noticed
Speaking loudly in enclosed spaces. In Japan there is an implicit volume level for each context. On the train, in hotel corridors, in a quiet shop: you lower your voice. It is not a written rule, but the difference in volume between a group of tourists and the rest of the carriage is immediate.
Blowing your nose in public. Considered poor form. You sniff quietly or go to the bathroom. Paradoxically, wearing a face mask, even outside pandemic season, is completely normal and a sign of consideration for others.
Apologising in advance. In Japanese, before making a request, people typically use sumimasen or similar expressions meaning something like “I am sorry to trouble you.” It acknowledges that you are asking something of someone. Going straight to the request without preamble can come across as blunt.
Bowing. You do not need to bow deeply in every interaction. A small nod of the head when entering a shop or receiving something is fine. Deeper bows are for formal situations or sincere thanks.
What is most misunderstood
Japanese etiquette does not exist to make visitors uncomfortable or to mark distance. It exists because population density in Japanese cities is very high and these conventions allow millions of people to share small spaces without friction. When you see a packed train in silence, or a street with almost no bins but no litter, etiquette is the invisible infrastructure that makes it work.
It is not cultural perfection: it is pragmatism accumulated over centuries.
The same logic carries over to bathing at an onsen or spending a night at a ryokan — contexts with their own rules, built on the same underlying respect for shared space.
Based on experience living in Yokohama since 2010. Conventions vary slightly by region.
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About the author
Editorial entity
Yen & Zen is written by a Spanish-Japanese couple based in Kanagawa Prefecture, in the Tokyo metropolitan area. We have been in Japan since 2010. The site is a hobby project covering practical calculators and articles about life and travel in Japan, with verified figures and citations to official sources. We are not lawyers, accountants, or licensed advisors; articles here are based on observation, personal experience, and published official rules — not on professional consultation.